Friday, June 14, 2013

dreams and drabble

So I don't know about other crossdreamers, but I have the tendency to fantasize before I fall asleep at night.  For some reason I find it comforting.  Of course this also sometimes leads to dreams that entail a transgender topic (perhaps this is another reason I do it).  A few nights ago I was at some outdoor mall, and it was my birthday.  I remember there was some crossdress makeover place that my wife took me to, and right next door was a bicycle shop.  I remember my wife saying "woah, you're in trouble, a makeover salon and a bike store next to each other?"  Then I remember walking down the mall aisle, feeling very comfortable even though I was dressed up.  It wasn't long before I took my heels off and was walking barefoot.  The dream sort of drifted into an episode of "Restaurant Impossible", where I was walking through a restaurant kitchen and seeing rats and bacteria hidden behind prep tables.  Then I was home watching that episode, and I saw myself walking by (in drag) and heard someone comment "That (insert my real last name) is a real slut".  I remember feeling embarrassed that not only someone recognized me, but called me such a name.

Woke up, fell back asleep.  This time I was in my childhood home in my bedroom, my brother was in his room (he's no longer of this earth), and suddenly Cindy crawford walks in.  My brother leaves, and I think I have a shot with her, so I invite her into my bed.  She complies after I practically beg her, and once in bed she comments "I don't think this is a good idea".  I don't know what to make of this dream?  Was Cindy Crawford his girlfriend and she didn't think cheating was a good idea?  Or was she implying that hetero sex wasn't a good idea (that there's some deeper desire that I haven't discovered in myself?)

Then the other day at work, someone mentioned that one of our co-workers is in a local metal band.  Someone who is pretty high up and very much a suit sort of person.  They were sort of teasing him a little, and one person just couldn't grasp that he had this other side to him.  Her reaction was similar when I showed them a photo of when I still had long hair (my hair is short), and she couldn't believe it.  If something so common and unshocking as those things can make them react, makes me wonder what they would say if they knew that I crossdress.  I'm willing to bet everyone has quite a few skeletons in their closets, they just choose to keep the doors closed because they don't want to be judged

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