Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tuesday was ladies night. Little did the new bartender James realize that meant EVERYONE inside the bar, even the bartenders. It would take some time for Jamie to get used to bartending in his new body.

Shawn passed out at a party. One of the girls decided to have fun and use magic to change him into a girl. After they stripped off his clothes and moved his hand on his new breast, he continued to sleep but with a smile on his face. He must have been dreaming about touching another girl’s boob. Little did he know it was his own.

Carl didn’t care if the great shift happened, it wasn’t going to stop him from doing his job. Though most of dock workers heads turned everytime he zipped by in his forklift.

His wife had a little surprise for her husband. When he closed his eyes, she dropped the medallion over his head and voila! Perfect copy.

Bands don’t really date, they just sort of sleep with whatever groupie happens to come their way. Not every girl is so intelligent, and during one tour the guitarist picked quite a na├»ve one because when he laughed at her wanting to commit, she put a curse on him and the rest of the band. Guess it would be a girl band now.

After running out of gas, Jeff walked along the highway to find a gas station. Suddenly the great shift happened, and he realized he wasn’t going to get very far in heels, so he did what any person with a brain would do.. Use it to your advantage and get a ride. It wouldn’t be long before someone picked him up.

Jeff was all set to watch the basketball game. His remote was out of batteries, so he stopped by this little shop on his way home. It looked like it was built sometime in the early 1800’s. He grumbled when he realized a set of two double A’s cost $4, but the shop owner insisted it was a convenience fee. Since he was so disgruntled about his purchase, the SRU wizard decided to give him a little something extra for his money. When he got home he replaced the batteries, and pointed the remote at his TV. Like a flash, he was suddenly a different person.

There was a new amusement park that just opened. All the rides seemed fairly normal, except for the log ride. The water had a pink hue to it, and the ride had a funny name. They called it the “knot wood” ride. At the very end the log splashed into the water, and he realized why it had such a particular name.. He would NOT have wood ever again.

Lucas forgot about the genie lamp he had found and already made 2 wishes with while he was playing guitar hero. After being defeated over and over, in frustration he accidentally made another wish. “Dam, I wish I was a real rock star so I could play better”. His wish had been granted, but not the sort of rock star he had in mind.

David had been overweight his entire life. When the great shift happened, he looked down in joy at his flat stomach. He wasn’t prepared for the unflat chest that came with it.

Jason was running a marathon when the Great shift happened. Suddenly he found it difficult to run in his shoes

"Stop denying it, I know you did this. You've always talked about how you had magical powers, nobody else could have possibly done this!"

Aha, now's my chance. My roomate is headed towards the shower, I need to find that medallion so I can change back, I'm so done with being her lesbian lover.

"Stay back or I'll shoot! With what? with this gun I'm holding in my.. WTF? Stop using your magic to change things!"

"Woah, what just happened? One minute I'm pushing my wife around, now I find myself lying on the floor as her. Honey, what are you doing with those handcuffs? I'm sorry, I'll never lay a finger on you again, honey! Nooo!"

"Cypher! Get me the hell out of the matrix, the agents have resorted to changing genders now to defeat us!"

"They weren't kidding about the bunny ranch making all your dreams come true! I can't wait to try this body out, I'm soooo excited!"

This is the last time I complain to my waitress about my service! These heels are killing me!

She put the medallion around her husband's neck and pressed her shirt against it. Within minutes he was an exact copy of her.
"Why did you do this to me?"
"Because there's a twin beauty contest coming up and I want to win, now let's work on your walk"

Clearly his buddy still hasn't learned how to act like a lady.
"Jesse.. I mean Jessica, close your legs man!"

"No way! You guys are crazy! I'm not gonna drink this potion and be a girl too!"
"Come on Tom, we can have so much fun! Just us three girls, all licking each other's pussies!"

Those people don't speak very good english. I said I wanted a beef taco, not a fish taco.. and certainly not between my legs!

I never gave my wife enough credit. She kept talking about this body switching machine she was working on in her lab at work, I never believed her. I just woke up in her body, clearly she was pissed. I wonder how long she'll leave me like this?
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Chris was just about to go on the air to report the news when suddenly he found himself like this.
"I'm what? I'm the weathergirl now? Can I maybe have something a little less revealing to wear?"

His body swapping machine worked great. He couldn't help but try out the goods.

Gone were the days that John would be riding his hog with his buddies. He was reduced to riding this scooter and touching up his lip gloss in his rear view mirror.

The boxing association was tired of mike tyson biting off ears and such, so they figured the only solution to tame him was make him softer. This would take some getting used to! All he could mutter was "This is ludicris!"

"Oh crap! I forgot our anniversary again!" he said. When he woke up, he found a rose lying next to him, with a note that said "Clearly you have no clue what romance is, so I guess I need to spell it out for you. Follow the path of rose petals to find me, although you might be surprised at how I look when you find me"

He was on his last wish with the genie of the lamp, he better make this one count.
"Ok, I wish I could see a pretty face everyday I woke up in bed"
The genie made it so, he was the prettiest girl in the world, and he could confirm that everyday he woke up and stared at the mirror on his ceiling.

SRU stores, changing boys into a girls since the early 90's.

"Get the hell away from me. I don't know how you changed me into a girl, but I don't like where this is going!"

"Coach, I don't wanna play baseball anymore!"
"No way, your one of my best pitchers I've got"
"But I'd rather be at home playing video games"
"Fine, your off the team, but you still have to contribute to an after school activity, and unfortunately the only one left is home-economics. Here, let me give you some help with this magic ring"

"That was a fun halloween party. Time to take all this off, let's start with this wig. Hey, why isn't it coming off? How come it's attached to my head, what's going on here?"

"Ok, you might have changed me into a girl, but that doesn't entitle you a free show. Now how about wishing me some clothes huh?"

Your in the army now, and boy do things look different. I swore they made you shave your hair when you enlist, they actually gave me extensions, as well as a few other enhancements. Don't ask, don't tell!

Officer O maley wanted a more authentic costume this year for halloween, so he went to some shop called SRU, and before he knew it he looked quite different. Now to decide what to go as this year..Slutty nurse? Slutty maid? Maybe just a slutty cop? Yes yes, that's perfect!

His plan was going along perfectly..
Step 1 - Turn yourself into a gorgeous woman
Step 2 - Marry a really rich guy that's on his deathbed
Step 3- profit!

"What the hell happened to me? One moment I'm just swimming along and then my body changed into a girl! What does that sign say over there? Ranma... 1/2?"

"Honey, why did you take me to this strip club, I thought you were against me going to places like this? OMG, what have you done to me? Why do I look like one of the dancers? I have to what? There's no way I'm dancing for a bunch of dudes. I have to earn $1,000 tonight or you'll leave me here? Fine.."

"Listen you witch, change me back into a guy right now or I'll choke you to death!"
"Aggggcck! you silly bitch, that won't do you any good, you know you can't kill a witch like this!"

Santa was clearly tired of non-believers. He had a chip on his shoulder this year.
"I believe I believe! Don't leave me like this!"

"OMG! Honey what did they do to you in there? This is the last time I let you go to a strip club!"

"So I just stand here and dance and I get 50 linden dollars every hour?"

"Umm.. if your going to wish me into a woman, the least you could do is wish me a bra to cover these!"

Clearly David never reads warning labels, if he did he would have never started smoking in the first place. Little did he know these were special transgender cigarettes.

New! Trangender gum by wrigley's. Double your pleasure, double your fun, double mint gum

With Transgender guns easily attainable by celebrities, it cut down on paparazzi's by 99%. There will still dumb enough to take the risk, like Mike here.

"Oh thank you honey, this is the best anniversary gift a guy could ever hope for. I've always wanted to watch a lesbian couple, now I get to experience first person!"

"Your welcome Dear!"

My daughter just wouldn't stay off myspace. I tried hacking into her account, but she made her password too long to figure out. My last resort... Use the medallion to transform myself into her so I could go to her school while she was home sick and find all the information I needed.