Wednesday, May 27, 2009

"Dude, seriously? I've only been a woman a week and already you can't help looking at these? Yo, up here! Frank! Stop looking at my chest when I talk to you, I'm still your supervisor!"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"well the boobs are a pretty good size, but the rest of me... I mean I said I wanted to be PHAT, not FAT"

Saturday, May 23, 2009

"You want me to stick this big thing where?" he asked. After switching bodies with a BBW porn star, he had a lot to learn about the industry.

Friday, May 22, 2009

"Yo! What's up guys? Seriously, what did you do to me?"
"Well, this place is a sausage-fest, so we thought we'd even things out a little bit"
"What, by adding me to the fish market? This is seriously messed up man"
"Be it as it may, you look fucking hot!"
"Omg, I am so out of here, I don't care how I look!"

"Son of a bitch!" Thomas said as he looked in the mirror at his new body. He came to thailand for a cheap vacation, and cheap whores. Little did he know how deceitful the women were, and the technology they possessed. Who knew they had body swapping devices?

Careful how you make them, you might not like what you get
"Son of a bitch dude, look what you did to us!"
"What? All I did was wish that we would always see lots of boobs!"
"Exactly, dumbass!"

Thursday, May 21, 2009

He came into the tattoo parlor to get some ink done to dedicate to his girlfriend. Little did he know this tattoo shop was located inside the SRU shop, and they used special dyes in their ink. It transformed him into an exact copy of his girlfriend, wonder if she would get a tattoo to dedicate to him as well?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ahem, you might recognize these as captures from a certain TV show that shall remain nameless.

What happened to me? Why am I a girl?

Ick! This body already feels disgusting!

So... any idea how long I'm stuck like this?
Yea, according to my watch maybe like another 12 hours or so

Look, I'm not gonna let this body prevent me from acting normal.
What do you say we play some video games?

Dude, you totally got fragged by a girl!
Heh, yea she totally sniped you dude!

What's up guys?
You know this girl thing isn't so bad, I decided to embrace it.

I have some bad news.. turns out your not going to change back into a guy... ever!
Scuse me?

Ok, that's it.. if I have to live as a girl for the rest of my life, you guys are going to share my pain!

There, now that we're all girls we can totally have a slumber party!

Monday, May 18, 2009

How dare you use the lamp to make wishes like this? Do you have any idea what it feels like being a chic? That's it, I'm making a wish. I wish my friend was 6" tall!

How's it feel down there? hmmm? hey, where you going with that lamp? no don't rub it, we only have one wish left!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

what's this??

Making me a woman wasn't bad enough? You had to make my feet permanently arched too? For what purpose? it hurts to stand. I have to wear 5" heels to be comfortable?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

"Huh? I thought womanizer was a song by britney spears?" Little did he know that wasn't the latest mp3 player, it was literally a WOMANIZER that transformed men into sexy women.

Let's see.. objects in mirror mayy... Um, geez I can't even remember what I wanted to write, I feel like such a dumb blonde bimbo now.

Leave that cat alone, he has magical powers.
"Oh sure she does" said Dan as he petted her head as he laughed off his friend's comment. Suddenly his body transformed, and he too had a pussy now.

He had found a magic lamp, and he couldn't wait to use it.
For my first wish, I want to be rich, REALLY rich! Like I want to own a private house on an island.
his wish was granted
For my second wish, well.. I need a lady by my side to enjoy this new found riches. I wish my friend Steve over there was a sexy woman.
his wish was granted
"Jake! What the fuck did you do to me?"
Using my wishes, what do you think I'm doing? And now for my third and final wish...
"Change me back into a guy I hope! Jaaaake!"
I wish that we were both transported to my island right now, with no means of ever being able to escape
His final wish was granted. His friend Steve sat on the rocks, not sure what to make of all of this.

Damn that stupid great shift! Why does it have to happen on this day every year at a random time? John's feet were so sore from walking in these high heels, he had to rest for a little while.

The monkey was off his back, those loan sharks would never be able to find him now in this new body. Of course now he had a new monkey, and it wasn't on his back.. it was on his front!

This was the most realistic body suit ever, surely he would win the best costume at the halloween party this year. Now he just needed to get this head on straight.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The stock market was the worst it had ever been. He struggled to make a profit from the dipping investments. He had finally had enough, he sat down in the parking garage, wondering if all this was worth it. Thoughts of suicide trickled through his mind, wondering what his options were. "Oh if only someone could give me a sign!" Suddenly he was transformed into a beautiful woman, looks like he had a backup plan now.

Pete's house was nearly done. He was done with most of the construction, but being the procrastinator he was, it didn't quite get finished. He was onto his next project, making himself into the best interior decorator he could be.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

"Alright, let's make this police lineup quick and simple. All you girls stand against that wall. Now, can you identify the guy that stole your genie lamp?"

"No, it was a man that stole it, I have no idea which one he is".

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A mystery package was left at his door. There was no return address, just his own. Could it be some sort of trick? Perhaps a bomb? Curiosity got the best of him, he opened it up to find what looked like rubber skin. There was a note on top that said "bodysuit", and nothing more. He pulled it out of the box, and hung it in front of himself, as if putting on a wetsuit. It didn't look like it could possibly fit his large frame, but amazingly it did. It almost seemed to constrict his fat, and perhaps make him shorter? This didn't seem possible, there was no denying it. He pulled it all the way up to his neck, and then with a little tug, the rest of it snapped over his head like a rubber band. He walked up to a mirror and couldn't believe his eyes. Suddenly a panicked thought went through his head "Umm, how do I get this back off now?"

The RIAA was done playing games. You wanted to steal music? They would be sure you would not only be punished, but perhaps be the next Pop music star that would make them lots of money. And by stealing music and playing it, you automatically agreed to the fine print contract embedded inside the ID3 tag that states they own 100% of the profits earned from said listener.

He couldn't believe his eyes, how did this happen?

"On the island, we don't make mistakes. Your cloned body is kept safe until you need it. Our records show that your a match Miss Johnson."

"I'm not miss johnson, I'm bill gates you fools! What sort of mickey mouse database are you running here anyway?"

"Why, Microsoft SQL of course!"

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

"What the hell just happened? One minute I'm the best man wearing a tux, the next minute I'm inside the bride's body. OMG, am I really getting married?"

Good to see you up mister.. I mean miss johnson. I'm doctor phillips, welcome to your new life as a woman. The body swap was a total success!

Let's get started shall we? We can start by picking out which shoes you'd like to wear.

Milk does a body good.. and then some!
They were both happy in their new bodies, thank god for soy milk

"You want your eggs scrambled.. or impregnated in the morning?" he asked. She rolled her eyes at him, but she slept with him anyways. She casted a spell for them to swap bodies while they slept. When they awoke, she said in his body "I like em in bed thank you, now go cook em up bitch!" He was regretting his words now.

Jake had heard rumors that Soy products like his protein powder could have side effects since it contained natural estrogens. He had no idea it could create results like this, and it was so subtle it was hard to notice. Everyone at the gym certainly noticed though, he was one of the sexiest babes there.

"EX-koose me? what do you meeean there was a mixup with the body transfer?" asked alex. Apparently they had grabbed the wrong chart and placed his soul inside a female donor. They weren't going to waste a perfectly good body, he would have to wait another 60 or so years before this one was worn out to swap again.

Life is so boring. I wish I had a more interesting life. Just then he heard a loud rumbling voice from above, "And so it shall be". He looked up in astonishment, and realized things were suddenly different. God didn't fool around did he?

Monday, May 4, 2009

NEXT TIME, on survivor. During the next immunity challenge, the guys are transformed into beautiful women and faced with overcoming the obstacle course dressed in tight corsets.

The aliens had conducted all the anal probes they would ever need. They had moved onto new territory, swapping genders of humans to see how they would react. This research may take a few centuries.

Really? $5,000 spent on a cruise just so my husband could sleep on the lounge chair the whole time? I should have known better! That’s it, I’m using that magic potion I packed in my suitcase, I would make sure he wouldn’t be sleeping another wink on this trip. George woke up from his nap, only to find that things were quite different now. For instance, where did these boobs come from, and where was his wife?
“My god! I feel so naked!”

He woke up in the hotel room. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, but something wasn’t right. Why did he suddenly look like the hooker he slept with last night? And where was she? Where did she go with his body?!!

“Oh god, seriously?” he thought to himself as he farted and smelled flowers. He couldn’t even be disgusting if he tried. Women really were made of sugar and spice and everything nice

Bob went into the local hardware store to get some nails for building his deck. He asked one of the clerks where he could find nails, and the employee asked what kind of nails. He responded angrily “NAILS! YOU KNOW, NAILS! THE THINGS YOU POUND WITH A HAMMER!” The employee was tired of the abuse from customers, so he mumbled a chant, and suddenly bob had nails.. Of course they weren’t exactly the kind he was looking for.

How different corporal punishment was in the future inside prisons. No longer were there electric chairs, they had all been converted into gender changing chairs. This was a much more fitting punishment, and was great for rehibilitation. Worst part? They were put into general population of the gender they started with, it seemed to make all the men happy.

He was always swiping his roomates bath soap. This one seemed like a new formula, and for some reason it made the water glow pink. Hmm, no matter. As he passed out in the warm water, his body began to change. Won't he be surprised when he wakes up.

Why just take a vacation as yourself? Take a vacation AWAY from yourself. At total recall, we'll send you on a 2 week vacation without even packing a bag, worrying about air travel.

He went into his wife's purse to find some aspirin. He probably should have asked her instead of just taking the first pill he found. Now he REALLY had a headache to deal with.

Poindexter loved world of warcraft, he always played as a female character. Little did he know there were real wizards playing the game. One night, someone casted a spell over the internet, and suddenly he found his chest expanding until his shirt popped open.