what might Woot! look like in the future?

gay terrorist?

I'm sure some of you have gotten this stupid email. It shows a picture of a pakistan bearded man wearing the typical garb as a dress with some heels. Well my mother had sent me this one:

"Yohama been shoppin"

I already know my mother's opinon's on transgendered folk. I remember one time she had mentioned she saw a transgendered person while at the movies, and she said it was sick. Now maybe I'm reading too far into this, maybe she was just sending it along because as most americans she hates terrorists, and it's supposed to symbolize osama bin laden as some drag queen. The part that is offensive to me is that it's titled "gay terrorist", as if any man wearing a dress must be gay. This is an untrue stereotype that I wish would die since it doesn't apply to every situation.

handshake

I've always been a bit of a wuss when it came to manly things. Even the most basic things you never even think about, like a handshake. If a man shakes a woman's hand, he naturally shakes it with gentle care. When he shakes a man's hand, it's usually quick, strong, and hard. In fact, a lot of interview tip sites will actually tell you a firmer grip is actually supposed to help you because it makes you look aggressive and confident. I actually hate it. Not because it's necessarily uncomfortable, more like it's a shock of "woah, I forget some men shake like this". Had a couple new hires recently at work, and both of them greeted with that typical strong handshake.

gender ray

Weapons had become very hi-tech. Rather than weapons causing harm, or making them sick, the weapons of the future changed your gender. That was enough reason to make anyone stop in their tracks and comply.

"OMG! No, not the gender-ray! I wish that sick scientist never invented that thing. Here, I'm putting my hands up, I give up! Please stop changing me into a girl!"

finally had my first experience with another crossdresser!

I know this is straying a bit from the topic of the blog, but this was something really exciting in my life (true story). So I've been talking to this one girl for a while (who's busy with life and kids), and she finally got the opportunity to meet. Drove to her place, got dressed in the bathroom while she was still getting ready, and when I came out she was waiting. We chatted about geek stuff for nearly 2 hours, only to realize we both wanted each other just as badly, but nobody wanted to make the first move. After a comment was made, I made the first move. It started with rubbing, followed by more intimate rubbing, following by heading south, followed by stroking exposed cocks while sitting side by side.
*following pics are obviously not me, just for reference*


It felt so good to finally touch another man's cock, and his felt really good (better than my own). As I was stroking his cock, I couldn't help but stare at it, pondering going down on him. I was so into it, I felt my inhibitions simply melting away. I got down on my knees, and knelt in front of him, and licked the tip a little (so as to sort of test the waters) to begin.


Then I licked his hard cock from the base back up to the tip. Finally I just couldn't wonder anymore, I took his cock into my mouth and starting stroking him with my mouth. Feeling his cock rub against my lips as I went up and down was like electricity. Then feeling his cock hit the back of my throat, and finally realizing "this is what girls feel when they give a blowjob, I feel so girly right now". He was pretty big, so I would stroke with my mouth while stroking the rest of his shaft with my hand. I had watched so many pornos and watch what my wife did that it just sort of became natural. I even tossed in a little bit of twisting my head so she got a little swirl in my stroke. After about 5 minutes of this joy, she motioned for me to get up so she could pleasure me. After only a couple minutes, she had to excuse herself because she was feeling ill (not from sex, a previous condition). I won't say what it was because that might reveal too much, but I will say it ended our session. I can only look forward to our next meetup.

who's the coyote ugly now?

Nooo!! I don't want to be stuck as a girl! I'm sorry for making fun of your bartender, whatever you do don't make me wear those stiletto heels again, my arches are killing me!"

cosplay

Call me igorant.. Call me uninformed, just don't call me late to crossdress :-)

So I've always known that people dress up as their favorite characters, whether that be anime or sci-fi movies (most known at comic conventions). Of course you see it at halloween too. I HAD not realized there was a term for such a thing (when it's not halloween). In fact, it's very common for men to play cross-over gender play. Read all about it on the wiki page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosplay

They make nice captions too!

"Honey! Really? I said I wanted to be a stormtrooper, not a storm stripper! You bought me the wrong costume!"

"Oh honey, I said I wanted to be roger rabbit, not JESSICA RABBIT! What did you do to me?!"

"Umm.. honey? You know I love sci-fi, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. I Love leeloo and all, but I don't like BEING her!"

"Out of ALL the great star wars characters you could have chosen for my costume.. Han solo, luke skywalker, bubafet, even yoda would have been fine... But princess leia the slave? This is so embarrasing, I'm not sure I even want to go to comicon now"

"Holy shit! I was NOT expecting this! When I found that suit the aliens left, I assumed I would be a male superhero. I better at least be able to fly with this thing''

She's out of my closet

female frogs

DAM YOU ATRAZINE!!
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your probably wondering "WTF does this mean?" Well, there's been some research into why some frogs are getting feminized. They're also discovering some are becoming fully female (completely functional genitals). The stats are 90% affected become "feminized", and the other 10% are becoming fully female.

It's the story of Ranma 1/2 come true


Read more about it here:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/03/green-eyes-on-changing-frogs-sex-traits.php

Stats part duex

Interesting results, but about what I expected. Changing voice can be learned, changing hairstyle can be done with practice (or lots of wigs), height is unimportant. Boobs can be faked, but would be nice to have real ones. Turning a penis into a vagina certainly opens up some doors:

1. It's the one thing that defines your sex. You can have the best fake cleavage in the world, perfect outfit, perfect makeup, perfect hair, decent voice, decent manneurisms, but always deep down inside your head your thinking to yourself (I can't really prove I'm a woman with that thing still between my legs)
2. It would allow you to wear a swimsuit without showing anything
3. It would allow you to feel penetration, which is quite different than pretending to be a woman and doing every act except for that


I shall agree with these results

NOOOooooooo!!

"you what?! You reinstalled windows on my laptop? I had software on there that changed me into a woman, and I'll never get it back! Now I'm stuck like this!!"

tucked!

"Check out this trick I found online. If I take your penis, and pull it back like this.. And then push it in, it looks like you have a vagina.. hahaha! you look so cute!"
"Owww!! Stop that, it hurts like hell!"
"And then if I say a little chant out loud, it becomes true.. Tuck the family jewels away, a temporary vagina shall become permanent to stay"
"Woah! what did you just do? why can't I feel my penis anymore?"
"Because silly, I just transformed it into a vagina. Now where's that spell to turn my vagina into a huge cock to fuck your little pussy?"

st patty's day

iiieeee.. let it be known, that O'donnell drank a wee bit too much last night, passed out at the bar, and woke up as this fine irish girl. He be not too happy about having giant bosoms

gonna test that theory

So I put up a new poll, and already I'm getting dramatic results that show that my audience isn't necessarily interesting in the "tg_fiction" typical man gets turned into a lady, but rather the fantasy of transformation in general. So here we go



"Rooarrrr! you know I could kill you in an instant right?" said the lion.
"Hey I don't want no trouble, just want to do a little experiment", said the animal enthusiast.


"Dude, seriously? WTF did you do to my mane? I look like a girl now", said the lion.
"Yea, that's my experiment. Can a man crossdress a lion and fool the other lions?"
"Your messed up in the head, if you think for one second that I'm going to fool another male lion, your crazy!" said the lion.


"Dam, that asshole human was right. This is so humilating!"

Statistics results

So according to your votes, your favorite type of caption is magical transformation, followed by a distant 2nd being body swap.


"OMG jack, this medallion really is magic. I can't believe I'm this hot chick!"
"I never lie about magic. Now how about we give that body of yours a little test run?"

old spice commercial break

hello ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back to your man, now back to me.. Sadly, he is not me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash, he could smell like me.


Perhaps he's a lost cause. Here, let me sprinkle some magic pixie dust so that his body can match his scent. Look at your man, he is no longer a man, he is a woman!

\
"Oh my god honey, your so cute! Let me get a good look at you."
wuh? what happened to me? how did a commercial just change me into a girl?"


Now back at me, I'm on a horse.. And your husband is riding a cock that resembles.. a horse


"Holy shit, how the hell did I just go from sitting on the couch to being naked and riding a guy's cock?! What is happening?"
"Ssssh honey, just enjoy the ride. This is the most fun I've had in years! Mmmm, your breasts are so sexy, let me suck on your nipple!"

the biggest loser

Mark's starting weight is..... 285 pounds!


Congratulations mark, you have lost 104 lbs in just 6 weeks, the biggest weight loss in our show's history.


Son of a bitch.. the producers are talking to me in my earpiece.. they say the ratings are really down. This can only mean one thing.


"Mark! do you realize what your doing to our ratings? Everyone is turning off our show because they're all sitting on their couches feeling bad about themselves watching people like you drop weight like it's hot. I can only see one solution to this problem.."


"If you'll look at this bar graph, we figure we can increase your estrogen levels by over 25%, changing you into a woman, and boosting our ratings when they see you only lose 5 pounds per week instead of the usual 15. Also you'll be more relate-able since it's mostly housewives that watch us."


"So mark.. Umm, I mean marcy, how do you feel about your starting weight of 330lbs?"
"This is such bullshit, I worked my ass off to lose all that weight, and your quack doctor injected it all back in, not to mention he cut off my penis and implanted these huge saggy breasts. I feel so ugly and strange being in the wrong gender body!"
"There there Marcy, there there."


"I really don't know why I'm even on this show anymore. It's not even about the weight loss, it's about getting ratings and guilting america to buy more subway sandwiches, extra gum, and stupid wii games endorsed by us that don't work. If it weren't for the paycheck I'd so be out of here!"

Another 80's movie dub

This is one of my beloved movies. It's a cheesy movie called "the wraith" about a guy that gets killed by a car racing gang, and comes back as a ghost in a black car. They race for pink slips, essentially forcing other people to give up their car after they lose the race. I figure it needs a little twist.


"Are you both ready? Remember, you lose the race, you lose your pink slip!"


"GO!!!!"


"I totally got this guy beat, surely my crappy dodge 4 cylinder can beat this twin turbo experimental car next to me, especially since I'm driving automatic!"


"Oh snap, he just totally blew my doors off. Why do I have a feeling he was just fucking with me, hustling even?!"


"Crap, and we're racing for pink slips. I'm going to miss this car"


"What the fuck?!! why am I a girl packard? I thought you said we were racing for pink slips? I didn't realize it would mean I'd be wearing the pink slip!"


"I might as well just paint my car pink and purple, with lacey little ribbons on the seats, it looks like I'm stuck like a girl for the REST OF MY LIFE! Nobody can track this wraith ghost guy down!"

I traveled all the way to CEBIT

And all I got was this cheap netbook. Oh yea, and someone slipped me a medallion and transformed me into this hot model, what a weird day!

In heaven...

Dreams do come true

strip poker part 2

Looks like we have ourselves another victim Britney.. I mean player
he he!
When will these guys learn?

Strip poker - your outta clothes!

"Ok, that's it, time to pay the piper. You have no more clothes left to take off, which means your in debt. Now the only way to pay back that debt is to submit to some humiliation"
'Noooo! What are you going to do to me? Make me run outside naked? Drink something poured through someone's butt crack?"



"No, I have something much more embarrassing in mind, now get up!"
"What could you possibly have in mind?"
"We're going to trade bodies, you'll look so cute in my body"
"What?!! You can't be serious!!"
"Oh just you watch. I have a medallion right over here, you'll be swapped in no time at all"


"Holy shit, I'm really a girl! This feels so weird, having a chest this big!"


"I so need a drink to take the edge off, I'm so nervous!"


"It's kind of nice to have instant access to touching boobs, and this vagina is actually kind of nice, I can sit without squishing my balls. I could get used to this!"


"Hey! No photos, this may not be my body, but I still don't want my photo taken!"


"Fine, if you won't put that camera away I'll just hide my breasts by holding onto them"


"Dude! Can I cop a feel?"
"Sure man, knock yourself out, in fact I'm gonna lick my nipples to see if I can turn myself on, hee hee! Hey wait a minute, why did my font change to pink? Is my personality like changing into a girl too?