Thursday, August 13, 2009

Why are we stuck in between?

Are we nothing more than simply androgynous? Can we not commit to a gender, or is it possible one gender simply doesn't satisfy us?

I'm reminded walking through the the mall as a kid, maybe just slightly before teen years started. I remembered walking down the "female" aisle, stores upon stores all catering to women. Oh sure, there might be the occasional "man" store, but it was usually a specialty shop like a high-end suit store. Where did most guys shop? Usually Sears, JcPenny.. A very generic, general store that happens to carry clothing.

Then you think about a wedding. A woman can spend months shopping for the perfect wedding dress, and her bridesmaids aren't out of the clear either. Oh no, not only do they have to figure out what style of dress, but they have to decide on a color. What do the men get to do? They all get to rent a tuxedo, and they all look the same, and the color of the cumber bum is determined by what color the bridesmaids dresses are.

Let's look at some of the other advantages women have that make us think that the grass is greener on the other side.

Women get away with a lot. They get out of tickets, they often get out of doing hard jobs (fix the car, fix the house, mow the lawn, shovel the snow). That's a very broad general stereotype, but often it's true. How many times do women ask us to do them a favor, sound familiar? And then when the roles are reversed, you'd think you just asked them to kill for them.

Women are also very open-minded. It's nothing for a woman to dance with another woman at a wedding, it's nothing for them to kiss, perhaps even experiment sexually with another woman. It's pretty much standard for a girl to have a lesbian experiment during college at least once. A girl wants to wear slacks, perhaps even a tux at a wedding, nobody bats an eye. If a guy were to do any of the same, he'd be labeled as gay. Society has really limited what men are allowed to do.

A woman, even if not so pretty can wear the right clothing and makeup to.. make up for it. A woman has lot of choices and coverups to make themselves to improve their looks, a guy looks bad, he's always going to look bad.

What's that? your a dude but you want to grow your hair out? That's nice, hope it's not windy out because you'll be eating hair. Well no problem, I'll just tie it back with a ponytail holder.. and that's pretty much it. It is simply AMAZING the choices women have for doing something with their hair. They have barrettes, headbands, twisty things that interwine, they can put their ponytail anywhere on their head, perhaps two one on each side? A guy's hair better be sticking straight down.

Want a divorce? If your a woman, not only are you most likely to win the favor of any courtroom, guess what? Not only do you get half of his stuff, you also get paid by your ex-husband for the rest of your life as long as you don't re-marry and you make less of an income than he does (which is typical).

You start to realize that men are simple, and boring, judgemental, and treated unfairly. But wait, if that's your opinion, then clearly your in the wrong body, you sound like a candidate for HRT followed by SRS right? Wrongo! Even cross-dressing is a task in itself, do you really think I'd want to be mandated to fuss with my hair every single morning, not to mention having to apply makeup when I'm half asleep? Oh and make sure you don't wear the same outfit everyday, and make sure you psychologically check to make sure none of the other girls are wearing the same outfit at work today.

Oh and look at those pretty nails, don't they feel great on the end of your fingers? Sure, until you have to actually do something with them. Ever try typing with long fingernails, it's damned near impossible if they're long enough.

Don't even get me started on heels. Sure they look gorgeous, even feel pretty good, for about 5 minutes, then you realize how uncomfortable they can be.

You think carrying a wallet around is a nuisance, poking you in the ass when you sit down? Try lugging a 2 pound purse around with a wallet inside, and makeup, and your phone, and mints, and aspirin, and notes you took, and a brush, etc.

You like the living your making? Bet you'd be making a lot less if you were a woman, statistically women still make less than men.

Do you get defensive when someone questions your skills and abilities at work? Imagine how often that happens when your a woman, being judged by your sex rather than your brain.

Did you know that almost all women are catty? That's right, they are constantly trying to outdo each other, whether it be wearing better clothes, looking prettier than their friends, having a more successful boyfriend/husband, they can be downright viscous.

So what does all this mean? Well, sometimes I feel I could never be happy as either gender. I sometimes think that if I was born a woman, I'd still have that crossover desire in me. On some days I'd be dolled up to the nines, other days I'd be in sweatpants and sneakers, not caring how I look with a gallon of ice cream in my lap. Sometimes all of us just need an escape from ourselves, and there is no greater escape than pretending we are of the opposite gender. If I have a really stressful day at my job, fantasizing I have a cushy life as a female runway model where all I have to do is look pretty, or perhaps a female porn star where it's much the same cept I have to have sex. But at the same time, I have no desire to transition, I have no desire to come out of the closet, I have no desire to even go out in public dressed up (unless it's Halloween). I think for many of us, it's just a fantasy, and it doesn't necessarily mean we need to act it out. Sometimes a fantasy is just a fantasy. It doesn't need to be achieved, it doesn't need acting out in real life. Our amazing imaginative brain fullfills our needs by imaging whatever it needs to get by.


  1. It should be pretty obvious shouldn't it? "It's just a fantasy, and it doesn't necessarily mean we need to act it out." I agree wholeheartedly.

    That doesn't meant that all transgendered should stick to their fantasies and never consider the transitions. For many of them the need to become 100 percent woman all the time is an absolute necessity.

    I have fallen in love with a scholarly term. Here it is: "heterogeneity" I love that word. Too many try to shoehorn everything into too few boxes.

  2. We have reality and the requirements to fit in. We have the option to have a wonderfull not politically correct fantasy. We choose to appear to semi conform. Yet we have a Seperate Reality thats brings us fun joy and escape.
    We are different because we think and enjoy our fantasies...we are certaily Heterogeneitic...a good thing to be different in my simple mind

  3. @sport I agree the pic is nice, flickr has been good to me lately